Hi
I am a mother of eight grown children. I am at a point where if given an option/ a way that I could just lie down and sleep and never wake up I really think I would. I have been a Christian all of my life and I know these thoughts go against what I believe in but like everything else in my life my faith is failing me right now. I have many things to be thankful for -- beautiful children and very amazing grand children -- but the pain has pushed me past the point of caring. I have always thought that as long as I worked hard and tried to do what was right somehow I would manage but now there just does not seem to be any way and I desperately need someone to talk to. I have given everything I have to my family and now I realise that I failed in so many ways. At this moment I am in soo much pain and I have just found out that there is no way I can afford to stop the pain. Since my problems have affected the way I look I feel I cant go out in public, I go to work because I have to but I try to keep myself out of sight. This is hard for someone who is usually sociable and very out going. Keeping away from everyone has caused a depression which seems bigger then my faith. I keep telling myself that I am smart and should be able to find a solution but I dont think a solution is possible. Its hard to beleive that working hard all my life has still left me in a situation where I cant provide myself with even a little help. I am at the point where I would beg if that would help for me to able to ease the pain. If there is anyone out there with a compasionate heart who is just willing to listen, willing to corrospond, and maybe offer advice please text.
